Up-High

Still awake at this hour, after shopping with my Mark and my sister. A futile attempt to find the ideal prom dress. I know, I know, the A Levels are approaching fast and the mock papers are coming at us faster, so what the hell am I doing out shopping, right? Seriously, I need a break. A serious break before I can get down to some serious studying, again. The prelims just ended and the results are still being anticipated. It may take longer than I think before I can bury myself into the books again. But not too long I hope.
I wonder if this is what it feels like to be drained out or burned out, or whatever it is they call it. When you can't seem to find an ounce of anything that will make you want to pick up those set of notes or even a pen to write. Like, as if you wished it would end right there and then. Right now. This instance. Flashbacks of the suffering you went through not too long ago are too painful that you feel there is no way in hell you can do that again. Feeling as though you had given everything you have and there is simply no more to offer. No more. But time keeps waiting. For you to give more. But what if there really isn't any more. When every thing you read, your mind goes 'I know this already.' Hence insisting that you stop because it's all in there. But you know that not much can retain for too long, so you keep reading only to have that information rejected with the stamp 'You know this already.' But you don't. Is my sponge saturated? How can my brain not take in any more when I know there's more that I need to take? I can't possibly know it all because my Math assignments are full of blanks and I still can't look at Literature pieces through Ms Soh's eyes.
I feel like I may have given too much for the Prelims. And although the results are better than I have even seen them, I know that it still isn't enough. There is so much more that I need to work on and improve. And I am so afraid that I may not have anymore fuel, or as much fuel to help me kick into high gear again. I know it's still too early to say this because this may just be a phase and I'll be back on my two feet in no time. Maybe. But right now I'm just so extremely exhausted.
I feel like I need a hand. Literally. A large, massive hand that can pull me out of this and put me where I'm supposed to be. There is only one Thing, I know big enough that can do this for me. And He will give me a high-five when it's all over and done with.

Know this: Every hour the Universe expands by a billion miles in all directions.