Me, Myself and I

Nobody is perfect, right? But that is not an excuse for anyone to be total fucked up assholes. Perfection should be the object of everyone's desires. Its something everybody should be aiming towards. Although the sky is the limit for perfection, it is still worth a try. The people around me seem to be deliberately flawed. Being irresponsible, inconsiderate, selfish, rude, irritatingly deluded, pompous, ignorant and blatantly hateful, just to name a few. The thing is, all of these disgusting characteristics are completely avoidable, making it even more unforgiveable. Sometimes I wish that all the people that possess such ugliness would be locked inside this giant container and gassed with cyanide, a fatal gas. Yes, I wish that they will all perish in the fires of hell. I know these people. They are all around me. I help them out in any way that I can possibly afford to and what do I get in return? Fucking- shit attitude. Where is Karma when you need it? Why doesn't good things happen to good people anymore? I have been kind and patient. If I was given a dollar for every time I bite my tongue so that I wouldn't spit out something bitter, honey I would be a millionaire! I am a good person. Yeah, you're probably thinking 'she's really flattering herself', but to hell with you. I may not be perfect but I am sure as hell better than the people I called friends. If someone did you a favour, wouldn't that person be in some kind of memo that writes 'I owe you' ? You know what, I wouldn't even give a fuck if that person didn't return the favour, not unless I really need it. But to piss me off, let me down and fucking lie to me? That's just way too much. Maybe Theo was right. He said I had mixed with the wrong people after I said 'fucking whore'. Although my frien-emies (friend/enemies) did not teach me to say 'fucking whore', they had turned me into something ugly, a beast. Being around them and having to deal with their fucking crap had brought out the evil in me. I even fantasized of a day when all of them went on a trip together, in which I was not invited (as usual), and there was an accident. All of them died. I didn't even wish for an instant death for them. I wanted them to suffer. Go through the ordeal, which was fabricated as friendship, that I went through. Yes, at one point I was in pain. Everyone of my friends have hurt me but never ever apologized for it, being totally ignorant towards the situation, as if nothing was wrong. But I always took it in my stride to put a smile on my face and make them laugh. Pretend that everything is fine and that I was happy. How could I possibly be happy when I had been betrayed, made fun of and was unappreciated. I have no real friends. At least none that I would qualify as a friend, personally. My standards of being a good friend is not that high, people. I really don't expect you to be the greatest person in the world. Just that when you do hurt me, at least apologize for it. If sorry is a hard word, then make it up to me in other ways. Engage in a casual chat with me just so we know that the beef has been grilled. I don't hold grudges. I will always forgive but I will never forget. The memory is there only to protect and warn me that I cannot be too dependent on anyone or naive. But at the end of the day, I look at the glass as half full. Meaning, to focus only on the good in my so-called friends, eventhough their bad are overwhelming. The only person that I can call friend and hasn't let me down so far is, yes, you guessed it, me, myself and I.

Know this: You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.