Such A Happy Gal

A million and one apologies may not suffice for my long absence. I have been rather busy lately, with school and other commitments. Other times, I am just too tired from the business that I tend to choose sleep over blogging.

So now that I have a small little free time in hands, I shall update about events that have occurred since Valentine's Day. (Man, that feels like umpteen years ago!)

On the 14th of February, I had a date! With the track... I ran my first race that Saturday, the 200m event. Coach said I did well, although I felt I could have done better with more training. Not bad for a first time, I guess. It was a wonderful experience and very exhilirating. I really do hope that it will not be my last! Plus, seated next to me was the cutest boy that I have ever seen that day. I was grinning non-stop that it disgusted me, a tad bit. Shall not elaborate on this. (Or I will go on for hours.)

On Wednesday MCS conducted the Traditional Games Day. It was fun getting to know the J1s and I am glad they enjoyed themselves. A lot of room for improvement, but I am happy and relieved that it is done and over with. It caused unnecessary stress, I feel. Everything went smoothly and it ended on time. I am really thankful that the juniors were as enthusiastic as they were. It really did contribute to the success of the event. Kudos to all involved!

I watched Slumdog Millionaire with my classmates last Thursday as part of GP trip. It is safe to say that it is one of the best movies I have ever watched in my whole entire life! It is written.There was a perfect mix of sadness, happiness, anxiety, fear and passion in the movie. It was indeed eye-opening and worth it. I loved every second of it.

Last Saturday, some of my classmates, my girls and I enjoyed a play called 'The Importance of Being Earnest'. It was alright, I suppose. The costumes were nice, and the humour was enjoyable. But frankly, I did not gain much from it, unfortunately. However, after the play, my girls and I had a photoshoot in the beautiful infrastructure around the Victoria Theatre. So Tyra Banks, watch out!

I ended up meeting my one true love, Hannan, that night and our families chilled till the wee hours of the morning. Walking in my heels became unbearable that I took them off and walked bare-foot at the beach and the Jurong Point shopping centre. It was 3:00am in the morning so no one really cared. It felt...liberating. I felt like a hippie. Also, I bought the most gorgeous pair of shoes in the whole entire world that day! I am very very contented...

Though brief, I hope it keeps you interested in reading my blog, still. Block Test 1 is in 2 weeks. I shall declare my apologies now. Sorry in advance!

You so make my day.

Know this: The reason why flamingos are pink is because they eat shrimp which have a red pigment.

Disappointment

At this very moment, I am experiencing one of the lowest points in a long time. Disappointment is indeed one of the worst feelings one could possibly feel. Complementing it would be anger, confusion and sadness. Angry because you are not satisfied, confused because you cannot understand how they could do that to you, and sad because they had hurt you. The magnitude of this disappointment is determined by the person/people that had disappointed you. Family being the ultimate cause of the ultimate disappointment. With that said, I am experiencing one of the lowest points in a long time.
But you can never stay mad at them, or give them the cold shoulder for long. You just grill the beef eventually and carry on. I know that it is a good thing, because a happy family is one that sticks together, and never holds grudges. However, shrugging the issue that makes you unhappy time and time again makes them think that it is acceptable. That you are okay with them being the way they are to you. So sometimes, times like these, I want them to know that it is not acceptable. That I am not okay. When I told you, I TOLD YOU, that I really wanted this and you take that away from me, it isn't funny. It isn't okay.
The power of words retains whether they are spoken by family, friends or a random stranger. The sting is just a million times more painful when they are from your own flesh and blood. Sometimes they get unbearable and a piece of you just dies inside. Somehow, I expect more from them. I expect them to understand me more. Especially when I have clearly showed how much I wanted this. Instead, you said hurtful things. I know that you do not mean it. (Though at times I have doubts that maybe you actually do.) But you said it, still. Why say hurtful things just for the fun of it? Because we are family, I am not supposed to let it get to me? How miscontrude... It has the direct opposite effect.
You would think that the family bond is one that never wavers. Unbreakable. But being bounded by genes and blood does not necessarily mean that. One can feel emotionally apart from the family as well. Literature taught me that what you feel inside is more significant than what you show on the outside.
Other times, the family may not be appreciative of you. When you work so hard for a grade and instead of congratulating you, they put you down by asking why couldn't you have done better. No, it is not motivational. It is just depressing. You tend to question: will anything be enough anymore? An yet another piece dies inside. But there are just that many pieces. Let me not see the day when all these pieces die. Then I cannot call you my family.
Then there are double standards frequently practiced. For you, in return for a distinction is a demand for even better, and most of the time unrealistic grades. Not even a 'well done', once in awhile. For another one of your sibling, in return for a pass, just a pass, is a pair of new soccer boots. And at late nights and you are starving, they only buy food for one sibling, claiming they didn't have enough money to buy any for you.
How could one not wish that he was switched at birth or adopted, and his biological parents are desperately tracking him down as we speak? How could you not not be tempted to rebel with equally rude remarks, just to protect your own pride and dignity? Tell me how could you ever truly love people who treat uou this way? Who hurt you and know that they do, but just do it anyway? You must have forgotten that daughters are humans with feelings too.
Maybe I am just being a big baby because my family never really have big problems. Most of the time we are happy, which therefore makes times like these seem unbearable, makes you want to run away from them and express your pain to an alternative family. A back-up family perhaps. Reality states that the family is the one that you run to when the world crumbles down you. But where do you run to when the family lets you down?
You run to blogger of course.

Disclaimer: This is not a plea for counselling. But more for a family that respects me and geniunely cares for my well-being. A plea of a better family.

Know this: The Simpsons is the longest running prime-time animated series on television history.

Been There, Done That

Didn't think I will get away this week with a post of just pictures, did you? Well lately, there has been a lot of things going on. Too much to post about and a little too insignificant to share.

However, Monday is a pretty special day. The new batch of junior college students are coming! How exciting... It will be great to see new faces. Quite frankly, this excitement is selfish. Finally, we get to feel like we have the upper hand, a little more experience, a little wiser. For we are the seniors.

I remember my first few days in SAJC. So unfamiliar, timid, awkward and out of place. Like a square peg in a round hole. One of the most uncomfortable experiences ever, alongside the other 'firsts' in my life. Sends chills down my spine just thinking about it. With that I am thrilled that I have successfully gotten past that. I met great friends to keep me company during the breaks, I have a CCA, I know the teachers and vice-versa, I know the different blocks by heart, I know the schedule for the buses to the school, I know all the ways to get home from there, I know what Moodle is. I am settled. So familiar, no longer timid nor awkward and very much in place. Like a square peg fitted nicely into its rightful hole.

For me, coming from a secondary school where I was very much part of the school, and the school part of me, makes a new environment like this strange and difficult to adapt to. People do not know me here. So this transition is the hardest for someone like me. From being a somebody to a nobody.

I guess what I am trying to convey is, if I can do it, anyone can. Of course the awkwardness will make you want to wail "I want to get the hell out of here!" but you just have to suck it up. Moreover, remember that you are not the only one feeling afraid. No longer will there be the first-3-months kids that will prance around as the know-it-alls. Everyone is in the same boat as you. (Well except the DSA kids, but that is just a small portion.) Everyone will pull through, together. I believe there is great comfort knowing that you are not alone.

Bottom line, things will get better and everything will turn out o-tay! Believe you me, Fresh Meat. Believe you me.

Know this: There are over one hundred billion galaxies with each galaxy having billions of stars.