Things I'll Never Say

People always say that if you feel something for somebody, you should tell them how you feel because who knows, they might feel the same way. And I totally agree. But boy is it a whole different story when you are the person that's supposed to confess your feelings towards someone else. It's no surprise that every teenager has a crush on another. I do. For 3 years to be specific. Nobody knows about it except for my family. That's right, I tell them everything. Only because I know they will never let the cat out of the bag. My rationalization has not been proven wrong. Anyway, I recently saw him. I couldn't help to think that it was going to be the last time I will ever see him. Except when we receive our results but we both probably would be too engrossed in our fate. After that, we both will be pursuing different tertiary paths. Sometimes I hope that a miracle were to happen and he would tell me that he felt the same way about me too, like in the movies. But this is the real world. For that to happen I would have to see a pig fly first. The most important quality that I want from a boy is that he likes me just as much as I like him. Therefore, he has to like me enough to pluck up his courage to tell me how he feels about me. Obviously, judging from my current single status, no boy has ever liked me that much. My friend once told me that this was the 21st century and the girls should be the ones to break the ice. Personally I believe some things are better off kept traditional. So I guess I am a perfect example of the notion that I have stated earlier, about the person you like might like you back and is just waiting for you. So boys, man up and tell your crush how you feel. As for the girls, I understand. What's worse than not having your crush know how you feel is to let them know and not hear the response you truly desired. I get it, some things are just hard to say. So for now, how I feel about him is just one of the things I'll never say. By the way, check out 'Things I'll Never Say' by Avril Lavigne. You can't imagine how true it is for me.

Know this: It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

Crash and Burn, Live and Learn

Graduation Night seemed like a long time ago now. As a whole, it was bittersweet. When I get to the details, it was pretty horrendous. Honestly I am quite reticent about the whole situation. First of all, my make- up was a complete disaster. What's worse about it is my mother paid $48 for it to be done by a professional. I looked like a drag queen and some even said I looked old. I had my eyebrows trimmed, which surprisingly altered my whole face to a degree that I was unrecognizable. Hence, my whole night was ruined. I felt uncomfortable and I just wanted to go home. I felt so alone and small, yet not small enough for the rest of the world to not notice my disastrous make-up. I actually at one point thought that the only way the progress of the night was going to improve was if someone fell and died. Who would had thought that what was supposed to be a magical night turned out to bring the worst in me? I am deeply apologetic about it. To top it all of, I had to hail a cab at Far East all by myself with the public staring at me. Who would blame them? I looked like a man in a dress! None of my friends were there to accompany me home. I guess, they had other plans. Me on the other hand, just wanted to head home to pour out my heartfelt regret for spending so much of my parents' time and money for a disappointing night. I finally discovered what true disappointment is: placing your hopes high up and having to watch them all fall. So let this be a lesson to us all- when you crash and burn, you'll live and learn. I learnt quite a few things during Grad Night- never put all your hopes up on anything, be able to laugh at yourself sometimes and of course, less is more really.

Expenditure On Graduation Night Summary:
Dress: $49.90
Shoes: $16.90
Accesories: $37.00
Make-up: $48.00
Hair: $78.00
Total: $229.80
Night of Embarrassment: Priceless

Know this: The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

Built To Last

I've never been in a relationship. Years of observing the relationships of others have helped me realise what I truly want. I want a commitment. Most of the people my age claimed that having a partner is about having fun and experimenting. Date as many people as you want, they told me. I concluded from their suggestions that from the day they hooked up with somebody, the inevitable end of their relationship is already in sight. My question is, why start something when you know it's going to end someday? I would rather spend my teenage life with somebody I can see a future with. So when we do reach the alter or for my case the 'pelamin', I would have known him inside and out. I would have known his favourite ice cream flavour and he would have known my favourite love song. By then, we would have all the memories of our past and we would have grown together. More importantly, there is trust. Essentially, I want someone who wants the same things that I want. So until then, good things come to those who wait. I'd rather be single than be with someone who I can't see loving. So when I do find the perfect man, I could honestly say he is my 'One and Only.' Love is a strong word. Never use it with such apathy or it will lose its value. Save it for when you really mean it and your partner will get to know that you really do.
Hence I name this post 'Built to Last', directly inspired by the song by Melee. Also below, I've included a quote and I simply could not have said it better myself.

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep…wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you….the one who turns to his friends and says, “That’s her.”"

Know this: Sudden love is the hardest to cure.

Once You Find, Go Blind!

I recently bought a dress for my Graduation Night. It was indeed love at first sight. Naturally, I bought it. However, on my way out of Vivo City, I had to pass all the other stores. Suddenly, every other dress looked better than mine. So my mind started to play the 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' game. It goes 'I shoulda bought this dress instead, I coulda been less hasty in searching for my dress then I woulda found something better.' I left the mall with the most awful feeling and a heavy heart. However, I knew that I made the right decision after much persuading from my family upon seeing my whole outfit. Then I started to realise that even if I have bought something else, my mind would still have played the same game. So, how do you stop it? Once you find the perfect thing, go blind! Set your sight on nothing else but the exit door. Only then can you beat your mind at its own game. Didn't the King of the Taj Mahal literally blind his architect so that he could not build anything more beautiful? I guess, this game goes back further than I thought. Except in those days, people seem to take things a little more literally.

Know this: It snowed in the Sahara desert on February 18, 1979.

Graduation Night Prelude

It's officially 6 days to the night. It's safe to say that Graduation Night is the highlight of every high-schooler's life in Singapore. We don't have prom night, which is held every season in the US. So it makes this one night extra special for the locals here. I can't speak for the boys, though, but I am certain that the girls are especially elated about it. We get to wear dresses, do our hair, wear make-up and put on high heel shoes. We get to look beautiful. Honestly, local schools don't really give us much opportunity to 'flaunt what we got'. All of us wear the same uniform and our hair has to be pitch black. Naturally, an event like this feels liberating. There are people who think that it's only for one night, so why go through all the trouble to hunt for the perfect dress, which you are most likely only going to wear once, or search for the perfect salon to set your hair, which you are going to wash away when you get home? Well, I look at it as it may be only one night, but it is the one night. Like Fall Out Boy said in their Dance, Dance video "One night can change it all."

Know this: If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Blog-virgin No More

Well, there you have it. I finally have a blog. I figured it was about time. I knew that I had wanted a blog for some time now but I had to decide on the perfect timing. What could be more perfect than the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Yes, the big Olevels are finally over so I would consider myself free from the chains of torture that my friends and I experienced during secondary school. Hence I name my blog 'My New Endeavour'. Fancy, eh? However, I am not so sure that I would be upholding the responsibilities of owning a blog for long. My friends would know that technology is not really my thing. So I could possibly be terminating my blog when I start my tertiary level. Or, if i suddenly develop a certain liking to blogging, I might consider pursuing it further. I guess only time will tell. Until then I hope you enjoy viewing my blog. PS: my blog would not be too fancy for a little while. I'm still trying to get a hang of it. By the way, check out the 'Know This' section that I will be leaving with at the end of every blog. It's just fun to know certain stuff.


Know this: When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.