Up-High

Still awake at this hour, after shopping with my Mark and my sister. A futile attempt to find the ideal prom dress. I know, I know, the A Levels are approaching fast and the mock papers are coming at us faster, so what the hell am I doing out shopping, right? Seriously, I need a break. A serious break before I can get down to some serious studying, again. The prelims just ended and the results are still being anticipated. It may take longer than I think before I can bury myself into the books again. But not too long I hope.
I wonder if this is what it feels like to be drained out or burned out, or whatever it is they call it. When you can't seem to find an ounce of anything that will make you want to pick up those set of notes or even a pen to write. Like, as if you wished it would end right there and then. Right now. This instance. Flashbacks of the suffering you went through not too long ago are too painful that you feel there is no way in hell you can do that again. Feeling as though you had given everything you have and there is simply no more to offer. No more. But time keeps waiting. For you to give more. But what if there really isn't any more. When every thing you read, your mind goes 'I know this already.' Hence insisting that you stop because it's all in there. But you know that not much can retain for too long, so you keep reading only to have that information rejected with the stamp 'You know this already.' But you don't. Is my sponge saturated? How can my brain not take in any more when I know there's more that I need to take? I can't possibly know it all because my Math assignments are full of blanks and I still can't look at Literature pieces through Ms Soh's eyes.
I feel like I may have given too much for the Prelims. And although the results are better than I have even seen them, I know that it still isn't enough. There is so much more that I need to work on and improve. And I am so afraid that I may not have anymore fuel, or as much fuel to help me kick into high gear again. I know it's still too early to say this because this may just be a phase and I'll be back on my two feet in no time. Maybe. But right now I'm just so extremely exhausted.
I feel like I need a hand. Literally. A large, massive hand that can pull me out of this and put me where I'm supposed to be. There is only one Thing, I know big enough that can do this for me. And He will give me a high-five when it's all over and done with.

Know this: Every hour the Universe expands by a billion miles in all directions.

You

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Know this: Every year over one million earthquakes shake the Earth. (And I experienced a minor tremor in school today!)

Chance(S)

I blew it.

But I can't seem to let go.

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Know this: Do not inhale helium because it displaces oxygen necessary for life and can cause headaches, dizziness, labored breathing, and eventual unconsciousness.

On The First Day of Raya, My True Love Gave To Me...

One whole day with my whole family, a special day it was indeed.
Most of my cousins are much younger than me so I can always expect the atmosphere to be a lively, albeit kecoh one, when we all get together. Oddly, it doesn't make me feel more matured. I tend to take advantage of the opportunities to spend time with them and be child-like too. It's just more fun.
My family decided to go golden this year. I thought it was highly original, but I came to realise that we were not the only ones clad in gold that day. Nevertheless, we still turned heads (but that could simply be because of other reasons, but I choose to believe the aforementioned). By the way, I usually decide on the colour for my family, being the shopping Queen in my family. I supposedly know what I'm talking about when it comes to fashion and trends, and what's 'in' and what's 'out'. But really, it simply depends on my mood. Still, I intend to hold on to this authority for as long as I live.
Also, on that particular day, at a particular hour (or 3), my heart cleared up some space. There is still some clearing up to do, but one day that space will be completely empty for someone more worthy to fill.
Anyway, I cannot wait for Raya to come again. I'm already thinking of the colour for next year. I'm thinking purple...Or, white? Famz, what say you?

And this is my family...

Wishing you

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfirtri

Maaf Zahir & Batin

Have a good one!

Know this: A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

It's Amazing How You Can Speak Right to My Heart

William: Whoopsidaisies!

Anna Scott: What did you say?

William: Nothing.

Anna Scott: Yes you did.

William: No I didn't.

Anna Scott: You said "whoopsidaisies".

William: I don't think so. No one says "whoopsidaisies" do they? Unless they're...

Anna Scott: There is no "unless." No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.

William: Exactly. Here we go again. [He falls off the fence again]

William: Whoopsidaisies. It's a disease I've got. It's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections. It won't last long.

Notting Hill is one of my favourite romantic movies of all time. I recently watched it on HBO, only recently. I totally underestimated it. I think I have a thing for Hugh Grant. Because this is the second romantic movie I have ever been in love with. The first being Love Actually, which stars him too. I know, I know, Islam fundamentalists will frown on me because the latter movie is based on Christmas. But it is just so lomantik, lah.
Just thought that was worth mentioning. Anyway, today is one of the best days of my life. Prelims just ended, raya is in 3 days, Project Runway's later at 10pm and mummy dearest bought me a Magnum Chocolate ice cream since Monday, and I have decided to save it for a special occasion. And that special occasion has arrived, baby! Tomorrow my family and I are going shopping. Finally a guilt-free day out with the Famz. I really think I deserve this one because of all the hair-tearing ordeal I went through revising for Prelims. There were literally instances, especially during my revision for History, when I really felt so nauseous and my heart started beating so fast because I was so stressed out and scared. Well, you know, not only good things have to come to an end...
And for the J1s who have to go through your Promos during Hari Raya, hang in there, friends! It will be over before you know it. It's all about time-organization and sacrificing your leisure time, for this one difficult period in the year. Just this one. And no, first day of raya is not worth sacrificing. Remember that you guys have each other to depend on, so be there for one another. Be in it together. Wishing you guys and gals the best of luck!
I am super psyched for Raya, man! Can't wait.

Know this: Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. (This is a scientific fact, fyi.)

Are You Crazy-Insane, Or Insane-Crazy?

An awfully lazy day today. For some reason. Just one thing leading to another, and before I knew it, it was already 10pm and I have not revised one single shit. I felt guilty for awhile, then I thought about the revision I have done so far and those that I have planned for this week. If my calculation does not fail me, I have a little time to spare. Just a little time I can afford to take a break. Yeah, that will mean a lil more effort the next time I hit the books, to make up for what I could have covered today. Boy am I looking forward to that.
Adopted a 'study smart, rather than a study hard' theory this time round. Not to burn too much midnight oil but to use every other hour of revision wisely and effectively. Quality over quantity, I suppose. Considering there is not much 'quantity' at my current disposal to begin with. I just don't want to burn myself out before the big As, you know. I don't think I'll be productive if I'm dead.
Study sessions at the library have been very fruitful. Able to strike out most of the things on my agenda for that day. Every journey home, I feel so...victorious. So I hope the Prelims turn out well for me. And needless to say the A Levels too.
Anyway, just thought I'd pay this space a visit.
Hope you are having a fantabulous holiday. You should. Oh, nailing a mathematical problem can be quite fun. Successfully drawing a tariff diagram without having to look at the notes can be quite exciting.
Hold up. Me, finding studying fun and exciting? Ok it's official, I am a geek. Save me before I find homework...cool.

Know this: Neutron stars are so dense that a teaspoonful would weigh more than all the people on Earth.

Will You Love Me Again Like You Loved Me Before?

Status Quo. It's about time, Blogger dear.
A sudden urge to post something tonight (or morning).
Math paper was alright today. Manageable. Then again my expectations for the manageability in Math is rather low. So as long as I don't skip an entire 13-mark question, you can say that it's manageable. I really hope I do well this time. Not only is the result (should it be positive) important to boost me for the big As, but I sincerely do not want to disappoint Jules, my math teacher. Whatever it may be, I shall continue to work hard for this particular subject. Because the truth is, I love math. Ah, another case of unrequited love, it seems.
I find the examinations to be my form of escapism. Which is a good thing since I really don't want the disruptive nature of the things going on in my head to jeopardize what is utmost important right now. No matter what the teachers say, the A levels is crucial, as it determines a major part of the rest of my life.
So pimples may break out, favourite television shows may be missed, beauty sleeps may have to be put on hold. Oh come what may. We shall conquer it all.

" Victory's within the mile

Almost there don't give up now

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~ Run This Town Rihanna, Jay-Z, Kanye West

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Off the top of my head, I think Farhan from Singapore Idol is really cute. And here are some pictures from the National Day I spent with my extended family. I miss Nannan to death.
Know this: Cherophobia is a fear of fun. (Didn't know there was even such a thing? Well, that makes it the two of us.)